Shiitake Jones sat in the park watching her boyfriend Ken kick a soccer ball around with his nephew, when her Enya ring tone roused her from the daydream she had fallen into. He’s so good with kids, she had been thinking as she watched Ken coach little Stan on the finer points of tackling. He would make a great dad… Then she stopped herself mid-thought. "Shiitake Jones!" she admonished herself. "You haven’t been dating him that long. There is no reason to be ordering an amasake wedding cake or bidding for an out-of-print copy of Macrobiotic Pregnancy and Childcare on eBay just yet."
She scrambled through her bag to answer her phone in time and just managed to locate it between some leftover rice balls from lunch, a zip lock bag of bancha tea bags that she took everywhere, and a packet of organic trail mix.
"Val!" she exclaimed, recognizing the caller ID. "What’s new?"
Shiitake’s friend and manager of the yoga studio where she taught was so excited that Shiitake could barely make out what she was trying to tell her.
"Slow down, Val. You are talking faster than you do Sun Salutes and that is saying something. Take a full yogic breath and start again…"
"Swami Macronannda is ill and cannot teach the yoga, Pranayama, and meditation classes on the macro cruise which means there is a vacancy for an experienced yoga teacher. What are you doing next week, Shiitake?"
At that moment Ken and Stan plonked down in front of her. It looked like little Stan had run Ken ragged.
"Oh Val!" Shiitake exclaimed into the phone. "I don’t know what to say. This is too exciting for words. Wait! I will call you right back…"
Shiitake handed Ken and Stan some certified organic water in non-xenoestrogen-leaching bottles to re-hydrate. Then Stan ran off to play on the swings under Ken’s watchful eye.
"Who were you talking to, Shiitake?" Ken asked, noting that she was so excited she could barely sit still. "And what don’t you ‘know what to say’ about?" He found it hard to believe that Shiitake could ever be lost for words.
"Oh Ken," Shiitake gushed. "You will never believe it. That was my yoga school manager. I have been invited to teach on the macro cruise next week. Everyone who is anyone is going to be there." Shiitake started rattling off a list of macro celebrities.
"So you are going then?" Ken asked.
"Well I have to call Val back to confirm but this is the opportunity of my entire incarnation, Ken. It could really launch my career in the macro world as well as being an opportunity to learn so much and have a great time to boot!"
"Are you setting sail alone?" Ken asked in what he hoped was a nonchalant way.
"Oh, I never thought about that. But I may insist that I only travel with my ‘manager’," Shiitake replied with a wink.
Ken’s heart soared and then plummeted to earth again when Shiitake added, "Yes, I think Maithake
would love that. My sister is always talking about going on a cruise and she is as macrobiotically inclined as I am." "Maithake?" Ken repeated, slightly dumfounded. Apart from the fact that he thought Shiitake would have him at the top of her list of cruising companions, she had not mentioned her sister before. "Well her real name is actually Karen. She was born when my mother’s hippie days were waning and after my brother Hatcho and I were born. Of course he now goes by Steven and works at the stock exchange, but Karen was always jealous of our macro names even though we were mercilessly teased at school. So, one day when she was fourteen she declared over a bowl of millet and corn porridge that she would only answer to Maithake from then on. She said it was the superior medicinal mushroom anyway and was named for its effects in making people feel so joyous and well that they would dance. And she was so keen on ballet classes…" Shiitake noticed that Ken looked crestfallen and stopped mid sentence. "Did you…? Were you… er…thinking of being my ‘manager’ instead, and joining me on the cruise?" Shiitake asked demurely. Ken’s instant daydream of this opportunity of a romantic getaway was restored. "I am due for a holiday," he said as casually as he could. "I didn’t think you would be interested in going Ken—what with your big work project at the moment…" "You sound like you don’t want me to come, Shiitake." "On the contrary," said Shiitake throwing her arms around his waist. "There is nothing I would like more. And it is a great opportunity to learn a lot of macro ideas to help in your sister’s recovery." "I just hope I won’t get sea sick. I never fared too well on that waterbed I bought a few years ago and had to trade in." "Don’t worry, Ken. I have plenty of remedies for that. We can tape an umeboshi to your navel and I will have plenty of certified organic peppermint oil on hand for you to inhale. Just make sure you keep it away from the Nux-Vomica-anti-nausea homeopathic I will pack for you. Aromatics tend to inactivate and antidote some homeopathics and we don’t want that to happen." "Of course," Ken agreed, nodding vehemently. "And I can always press your Pericardium 6 point," Shiitake assured. Before Ken could wonder where on his body that was located, Shiitake grabbed his wrist and pressed firmly on its inner side between the tendons three-finger widths from the crease of the wrist. "In addition to remedying nausea, it affects the heart meridian as well," she explained. "That must be why my chest feels this way," Ken thought, though the prospect of spending a week with a bikini-clad Shiitake on the deck of a cruise ship may have been a contributing factor. "I will pick up a sea sickness band at the natural foods store just in case so you can wear it on your pericardium 6 when I am not around to press it," Shiitake said. "Stay off the extreme yin foods and drinks till then and your liver will let you enjoy the cruise and that sea breeze. Now I just need to decide which of my designer yoga outfits I should take. I am definitely packing my natural latex yoga mat…" "You have better call Val back then, Shiitake," Ken reminded her, "and tell her that your manager will be joining you as well…" Stay tuned to find out what happens when Ken and Shiitake set sail..
